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17 entries this month
The FUZZ21:47 Oct 30 2008
Times Read: 651
The cops pulled me over today. He wasn't cute. Anyway, this was our convo:
Cop: License and registration.
Me: (hands license and points to dashboard to show registration)
Cop: Do you know that you were speeding?
Me: No, I didn't know.
Cop: You weaved in an out of traffic doing close to 85 mph and didn't know you were speeding?
Me: I used to race cars and occasionally weave in and out of traffic, but if you were watching, you saw I never tail-gated or did anything to intimidate the other dri-
Cop: Kourtney? Get the fuck out of here!! Remember me? We used to race to Jones Beach!! You still have your other car?
Me: (no memory of this person)Oh, I don't race anymore. *points to speedometer* this think just got stuck on 20 mph last week, I haven't had the time to fix it. So, I really have no idea how fast i am going. I just figured there were too many old people on the road mid-day.
Cop: Some of us still meet up at **** in the back. You should come out of retirement. *he sees my crutches in the car* Or maybe not.
Okay, take it easy. Drive carefully. *hands back license* Oh, and you would be a smartass and point to the registration same Kourtney.
This scared the poop outta me! I could NOT remember this guy at all, and the first thing I worried about was having beat him and taken his money! Shit! A cop stalker! Meanwhile, I still have my mountain bike gear in plain sight, tools, Chris's weight-lifting belt and three racing helmets.
Thinking back to how I used to be, I have to laugh! Damn, I was pretty cool being the only chick burning up people on the tarmac. to be remembered? Wow, made me want to start racing cars again!
To bad, I predicted I would crash and die in my next race. Still... I'm cool!
Praise Dylan!!22:43 Oct 29 2008
Times Read: 671
Well, MBK came very close to starting a religion today. Granted, it was based on cunt punting bunnies, but I am sure the symbolism he opts to use for this new religion will be nothing short of... vaginarriffic!
Only foreseeable problem is the fact that no one seems to be following his gospels. I hope no one string him up on a cross and toasts marshmallows from sticks protruding from his bum. Personally, I need my religious leaders to not suffer with marshmallows for humility. Sadly, that is all that is legal for VR's little Dali Lama...
And it all started with too many installments of SAW. Damned Hollywood. Breeder of all that is nonsensical and underage...
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Read from the bottom up, fellow MENSA members *grin*
CryingDutchess:
17:30:17 - Oct 29 2008
*snogs wolfy* Aww, you are the bestest *cops a feel and runs to write about MBK*
wolfysnightmare:
17:30:01 - Oct 29 2008
*coughs up candy corn* wow Jho
Manda:
17:29:58 - Oct 29 2008
Dylan knows all, right?
Manda:
17:29:48 - Oct 29 2008
Lawl. He'll figure it out
Jho:
17:29:34 - Oct 29 2008
He doesn't get it cause he doesn't speak Brit
Jho:
17:29:28 - Oct 29 2008
Oh ho ho ho
Jho:
17:29:24 - Oct 29 2008
You're such a yarble snogging sodding wanker dylan
Manda:
17:29:23 - Oct 29 2008
JHO DANIEL!
Manda:
17:29:18 - Oct 29 2008
=O!!!!
Jho:
17:29:09 - Oct 29 2008
MBK snogs yarbles
MBK:
17:29:05 - Oct 29 2008
HFCPB fer me.
Manda:
17:28:56 - Oct 29 2008
I don't know
Jho:
17:28:51 - Oct 29 2008
Screw it
Manda:
17:28:48 - Oct 29 2008
lawl
Jho:
17:28:41 - Oct 29 2008
... *You'll
Jho:
17:28:33 - Oct 29 2008
*Joining
wolfysnightmare:
17:28:27 - Oct 29 2008
*proudly
Jho:
17:28:23 - Oct 29 2008
But you're still join my cult wont you?
MBK:
17:28:16 - Oct 29 2008
I'd convert to that. I'd be the first Happy Floppy Cunty Punty Bunnyist ever.
wolfysnightmare:
17:28:15 - Oct 29 2008
Don't worry i will walk into hell with ya prodly CD
CryingDutchess:
17:28:14 - Oct 29 2008
Dyl, you are ending up in my journal...
Manda:
17:28:03 - Oct 29 2008
I convert to nothing, sorry.
Jho:
17:27:51 - Oct 29 2008
Alright, well I suppose we'll just convert to Neo-Paganism then
CryingDutchess:
17:27:48 - Oct 29 2008
*steps away from Jho* Okay, then... roll with that! I'll stay toasty warm in hell, thank you very much.
Manda:
17:27:47 - Oct 29 2008
lawl
MBK:
17:27:41 - Oct 29 2008
There should be a religion called ... Happy Floppy Cunty Punty Bunnyism
Damned Make-up!21:43 Oct 29 2008
Times Read: 676
I'm trying to figure out how to meet Chris in the Village for the Halloween parade. My guess is that I will be limping around total strangers for the night and will end up at some random person's Halloween party. Honestly? Fine by me!
I just bought nifty fake eyelashes and will be shocked to shit if I don't manage to put my eye out or break my nose. Where are all the drag queens when you need them? Bitches. Pfft. Now, I am studying the make up of people online, since I get the impression that most of the stupid cosmetic crap I bought is a one-time use deal. I'd really hate to be having a conversation only to watch my eyelashes fall into someone's drink. Not because of the person and their drink, but more so because these are cool eyelashes!
If I could manage keeping lengthy nails despite biking, playing guitar, toying with cars, poking strangers, being phobic about having germs under my nails and the like -- I would go for some perty nails. Oh well.
I have to find a way to talk someone into going out Halloween and dancing (they can dance I will limp rhythmically), I will be a happy bunny! And yes, I am probably going to be Maleficent. Or some silly hoochie with eyelashes plastered all over her face... wait! Not a bad idea!!! I can be a Picasso painting -- like when he was going through his eyelash period! *pats my back* Good, I have another excuse.
Oh, I now have more lingerie than a burlesque show. Just something I noticed while looking through my closet for boots. What's funny, is that everything has their tags still.
Geez, this entry equates to a pile of shite. Sorry readers...
Just a thought... or two...21:28 Oct 29 2008
Times Read: 679
Most people that opt to spell their name backwards for lack of an imagination, are usually stupid.
Usually, the quietest person in the room is either the smartest or plotting to kill the rest of the room's occupants.
When an employer says not to worry about layoffs -- send out your resume.
When a guy appears too good to be true, it's because he is busy appearing too good to be true to other women/men.
When a woman appears too good to be true, it's because she is severely damaged north of her boobs.
If someone has to tell you they can be trusted, don't tell them a single thing!
People only feel bad for someone in crutches if they make eye-contact with that person.
No matter how one explains putting the toilet seat down, someone will always ask why no one looks before sitting.
Anyone constantly reminding you they're on a diet is probably cheating like hell on it.
Deadbeat dads seem to always be the last to realize they are a deadbeat.
If more than one person calls you an asshole, chances are they are accurate in their assessment.
People who spew random advice in their journal are usually bored out of their ever-loving minds.
Sneaky!18:08 Oct 24 2008
Times Read: 700
Shhh, I am at work -- and probably not supposed to be anywhere near this site. Look how well I follow orders. To be fair, it is my lunch hour and there are other chuckleheads that shop and such. *tiptoes around VR*
Between that and watching flicks on my iPod, I should be VP any day now, ya think?
Ever find you are the smartest person in the room and then have no one to talk to? *sighs and gets a Pepsi*
Cafe le boob03:22 Oct 24 2008
Times Read: 705
An actual news topic announced on tonight's WB
"More coffee, smaller breasts?
See anything ya like?01:50 Oct 24 2008
Times Read: 711
Okay, why'd this guy pick the most observant woman at the urinal??
Dopey01:46 Oct 24 2008
Times Read: 712
I am watching some sci-fi movie with the TV muted. It's not as good as Wizard of Oz with Dark Side of the Moon playing... but, considering I am totally sober, it ain't half bad. The other half still has me trying to figure out why there would be any Jerry Curls in science fiction.
Bringing home ze bacon.23:12 Oct 22 2008
Times Read: 718
Went back to the office today. Yip. Eee. I brought my crutches and milked them for all they're worth. I made us hold conferences in the big conference room that has a gigundo flatscreen TV with cable. After the meeting, I let the team watch "I Am Legend". I even ordered in our lunch. In other words, not a single thread of work was done. Nyah, I knocked out all the work and shifted things around. I wanted to get reacquainted with everyone.
I was given $250 in gift cards, which was pretty nifty! I also received a birthday card from the Regional VP (BIIIIIG DOG!!!) and it wasn't some generic card. Cool, huh? What sucked is, as predicted, I made it to the Elite Lunch for the month of August. I ended up missing the whole trip. Me and my damned cast. My buddy ol' pal. Fucker. These lunches get you out the office and taken out to expensive lunches and special events. I killed myself that month to put up ridiculous number... and I missed the damn thing. Hell, I even sold a company car and still didn't receive my little bonus for it (no, I do NOT sell cars lol).
Now, I am all snuggly in my hoody, sweats and smooshy socks. I feel like I earned the day. Even if I was watching cable with my co-workers.
Smile17:30 Oct 16 2008
Times Read: 750
The most beautiful thing I ever heard said to someone else...
"If you hadn't found me, I WOULD have found you."
Cajome = hot sex on a platter...01:10 Oct 12 2008
Times Read: 775
Ahhh, my sweet and sassy, Cajome... *rolls and tangles my naked body up in my silken sheets of ivy green*
You yummy little m&m... all melty in my mouth and never in my hands! Another reason, I am always happy when you make your comments on my journal pages *grin*
My New Protection Stamp...
21:14 Oct 11 2008
Times Read: 799
Cool and obnoxious stamp, huh?! What's cooler, is that you cant copy and past this without me giving you the code! heh heh...
Why I am Pro-choice!17:40 Oct 10 2008
Times Read: 809
People are stupid. Parents are stupid. I just beat the holy hell out of some kid on Call of Duty Xbox -- now this kid has the mouth of a retired porn star and I didn't say a word until end game. Actually, I just started laughing and told him it must feel even worse losing to a girl! He actually called his mother over into the room and told on me! Is that unreal??? She asked me what happened and all i asked was if her kid's name was Sybil. Then I was quiet. I'm going to boil that little brat and feed him to people I don't particularly care for...
No SHAME in my GAME!03:16 Oct 10 2008
Times Read: 816
About to have the hardcore Guitar Hero throwdown -- CHALLENGE!!
Chris can't hold up to me playing "One", "Cherub Rock" or "Cult of Personality"... No baby! Them's momma's bread and buttah songs *nods*
LOL, have to admit, this game has given me one or two bands I would never have found, otherwise.
Stoney says "Go, go, go!"05:24 Oct 09 2008
Times Read: 823
I couldn't love this boy any more than I do! The sports fan that he is
I'll share you mine if you share me yours!21:00 Oct 04 2008
Times Read: 861
I have decided I would like to have a penis for a day -- not ever, just a few hours... I know I laugh every time I see one (which really inflates egos), still I want one! I too, want to stand in front of a mirror and wiggle my hips back and for as my shaft and head slap at my thighs! I too, want to tuck it between my legs, grab a basket of lotion, lower by string into a pit and tell some chick "It rubs the lotion in its skin or else it gets the hose again!"... That, and I am soooo curious to know what it feels like to bang a chick! Y'know, without relying on a pair of panty chaps that has a rubber cock pretending on my behalf.
Is that wrong? Hey, I'd switch places with someone! They can knead my boobs and put them on soapy windshields at car washes! If that's what it takes -- hell, borrow the twins! Borrow the twazoo! Take a kazoo and use it in the twazoo! be sure to record that though, I am curious how that would look... I wonder if my aureolas would look like smiley faces? *looks down at the boys*
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COMMENTS
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Xzavier
21:56 Oct 30 2008
I had nearly the exact same thing happen 3 years ago! lol
Oceanne
22:43 Oct 30 2008
You ARE.:D
UnderLockAndKey
11:37 Nov 01 2008
You and I and racing have mercy on any one when you and I go on atrip Massachuttes Turn Pike comes to mind lol 100 miles o the inside lane of shit no umm that wa smy trip to NC, girl you know I love to drive per the reason i have a ticket for 76 in 55 lol but it was a stang and i just couldnt help myself ya cant put me in a sweet ride and not expect me to push it, lucky he didnt catch me before i hit the crest of the hill, you's be bailing my ass out ! speedometer was buried lol when he got me i was just slowing down !
Loves ya Girl !